(10-count) (Size 3″ x 4.5″)
This short, high-quality, easy-to-follow tract will help you take someone step-by-step through the eye-opening approach used in the movie, to share the gospel.
(10-count) (Size 3″ x 4.5″)
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101 Of The Worlds Funniest One Liners (100pk)0 out of 5(0)
(pack of 100)
101 of the World’s Funniest One Liners
In the centre of the flyer is a Christian gospel message.
1. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist — they don’t expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter.
7. It’s lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
10. Few women admit their age; few men act it.
11. If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
12. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
13. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
14. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
17. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
18. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
19. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.
20. Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
21. Nuke the Whales.
22. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
25. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
26. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
27. Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
28. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
29. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
30. You can’t have everything; where would you put it?
31. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
32. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Editorial: Probably the most thought-provoking one-liner is “Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.” It’s sad but true — no matter what you do, you will die. This is because you have sinned against God. Let’s see if that’s true: Have you ever lied (even once)? Ever stolen (anything)? Jesus said, “Whoever looks upon a woman to lust after her, has committed adultery already with her in his heart.” Ever looked with lust? If you have said “Yes” to these three questions, by your own admission, you are a lying, thieving, adulterer at heart; and we’ve only looked at three of the Ten Commandments. How will you do on Judgment Day? Will you be innocent or guilty? You know that you will be guilty, and end up in Hell. That’s not God’s will. He provided a way for you to be forgiven. He sent His Son to take your punishment: “God commended His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus then rose from the dead and defeated death. God promises everlasting life to all those who confess and forsake their sins, and trust in Jesus Christ. Please do that today . . . you may not have tomorrow. See John 14:21 for a wonderful promise. Then read the Bible daily and obey what you read. God will never let you down.
33. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
34. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
35. Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
36. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
37. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
38. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
39. My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
40. Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
41. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42. I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.
43. God made mankind. Sin made him evil.
44. I don’t find it hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere.
45. I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.
46. Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
47. Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
48. National Atheist’s Day April 1st.
49. All generalizations are false.
50. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
51. Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.
52. If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.
53. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
54. IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.
55. I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
56. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
57. I can handle pain until it hurts.
58. No matter where you go, you’re there.
59. If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane.
60. It’s been Monday all week.
61. Gravity always gets me down.
62. This statement is false.
63. Eschew obfuscation.
64. They told me I was gullible…and I believed them.
65. It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
66. According to my best recollection, I don’t remember.
67. The word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary.
68. Honk if you like peace and quiet.
69. The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG! it happened.
70. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
71. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
72. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
73. A day without sunshine is like, night.
74. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
75. Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!
76. Gravity: It’s not just a good idea, it’s the LAW!
77. Life is too complicated in the morning.
78. We are all part of the ultimate statistic — ten out of ten die.
79. Nobody’s perfect. I’m a nobody.
80. Ask me about my vow of silence.
81. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
82. The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.
83. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
84. If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
85. If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.
86. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
87. Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
88. I intend to live forever. So far so good.
89. Who is “General Failure” and why is he reading my hard disk?
90. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
91. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
92. Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
93. I didn’t use to finish sentences, but now I
94. I’ve had amnesia as long as I can remember.
95. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
96. Vacation begins when Dad says, “I know a short cut.”
97. Evolution: True science fiction.
98. What’s another word for “thesaurus”?
99. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
100. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
101. I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.
. . . Don’t forget to read the editorial!SKU: 265
Curved Illusion (100pk)0 out of 5(0)
BUY IN BULK TO SAVE ON SHIPPING
100 Per Pack (i.e. 100 Red & 100 Blue)
These curved illusions have a Christian gospel message on the back.
When you hold these cards side-by-side one card always looks bigger than the other. Then when you swap them around the other card looks bigger.
It’s a great way to engage people in conversation. One the back of the cards is a simple message that explains the gospel message.
MESSAGE ON BACK OF CARDS
CARD ONE: Hold both cards curving toward the right. Which is bigger, red or the blue? Both are the same. Our eyes are often fooled by optical illusions. Speaking of eyes — Would you sell an eye for $1 million? How about both for $20 million? No one in his right mind would. Your eyes are priceless, yet they are merely the windows of your soul. Jesus said that your eyes are worth nothing compared to the value of your soul: “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire” (Mark 9:47). He asked, “What will a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matt. 16:26). There is nothing as important as your salvation. So, do you think you will go to Heaven when you die?
CARD TWO: Check yourself by going through the Ten Commandments: How many lies have you told in your life? Have you ever stolen (the value is irrelevant), committed adultery (Jesus said, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” – Matt. 5:28), or murdered someone (God considers hatred to be murder – 1 John 3:15)? Have you loved God above all else? Be honest. You know you will be guilty on Judgment Day, and therefore end up in Hell. But Jesus showed how much God loves us by dying on the cross to take our punishment, and then rising from the dead. Today, repent (confess and turn from your sin) and trust in Jesus Christ. Then read the Bible daily, and obey it. God will never fail you.SKU: 222
Gospel Tracts, Money
USA Million Dollar Bill (100pk) *NEW0 out of 5(0)
(Pack of 100 Notes)
Text on back of Note:
HERE IS THE MILLION-DOLLAR QUESTION: Will you go to Heaven when you die? Here’s a quick test: Have you ever lied, stolen, or used God’s name in vain? Jesus said, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” If you have done these things, God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous, adulterer at heart, and the Bible warns that one day God will punish you in a terrible place called Hell. But God is not willing that any should perish. Sinners broke God’s Law and Jesus paid their fine. This means that God can legally dismiss their case: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Then Jesus rose from the dead, defeating death. Today, repent and trust Jesus, and God will give you eternal life as a free gift. Then read the Bible daily and obey it. God will never fail you.SKU: 298
Science Confirms Bible (100pk)0 out of 5(0)
The Bible is supernatural in origin. Therefore take heed to its promise of Heaven and warning of Hell. Let’s see if you qualify to enter Heaven: Have you ever lied (even once – fibs, white lies, etc.)? Ever stolen (anything – the value is irrelevant)? Jesus said, “Whoever looks upon a woman to lust after her, has committed adultery already with her in his heart.” Have you ever looked with lust? If you have said “Yes” to these three questions, by your own admission, you are a lying, thieving, adulterer at heart; and we’ve only looked at three of the Ten Commandments. That’s how God sees you. Nothing is hid from His holy eyes. Will you be innocent or guilty on the Day of Judgment? Listen to your conscience. You know that you will be guilty, and therefore end up in Hell. That’s not God’s will. He provided a way for you to be forgiven. He sent His Son to take your punishment: “God commended His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” He was bruised for our iniquities. Jesus then rose from the dead and defeated death: “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Pray something like this: “Dear God, I repent of all of my sins (name them). This day I put my trust in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Please forgive me and grant me your gift of everlasting life. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.” Then read the Bible daily and obey what you read (see John 14:21). God will never let you down. www.livingwaters.com For more evidence of the Bible’s inspiration see www.evidencebible.com or The Evidence Bible (Bridge-Logos Publishers) – at your local bookstore.SKU: 284